friends, the quake, no work and the new year

i have not seen my highschool friends for so long already. the last time we got the chance to go out was before ivy left for the states to work as a nurse and that was mga 2002. so i felt really happy having the chance to talk to jenny the other night. and since ivy is coming home for a vacation, we will get to see each other soon (yipee!). i was telling jenny how different things are now since before we would usually talk about "kababawan" over the phone, but now we were talking about our plans in life. nyikes....we are getting old.

i don't want to know the updated death toll anymore of the tsunami that hit southeast asia. it is so depressing and im just really thankful that it didn't hit the philippines. pero funny what my cousin told me. nakakulong na daw si tsunami, kasi madami pinatay. kung pwede nga lang sya ikulong diba?

im sad because in 2 days, the long weekend is over and it's back to reality--back to school and work. i still have a lot of chapters to read in anatomy plus i have to prepare our group presentation for my rle class and i have to study for a test for my health care class. PLUS, midterms will be this January. tapos i have work pa. promise, i don't want to even think about this!

in less than 7 hours, goodbye 2004 na and welcome 2005. 2004 was not a good year for me...i think. it was a hard year emotionally (roller coaster ride of my life). 2004 was also a year a lot of decisions were made. 2004 was the year manang melo had her stroke, maid of mama grace committed a suicide,the philippines presidential election and tita tess died but this year also brought me to boracay,duamguete and bacolod. yun lang ata ang good. hehehe...but this year i became closer to God with everything i had to go through (good din ito!). it's sad to think lang, that i had to go through all this to be closer to Him. i am glad 2004 is coming to an end. and i am praying that 2005 will be a better year. not just for me but for everyone.

and as i close my last blog for the year...

Let us welcome 2005 with joy and hope in our hearts amidst the tragedies happening everywhere.
Let us not forget to thank God for all the blessings He has bestowed upon us.
Let us continue to pray that love will reign in everyone,
Peace and comfort to those who are grieving.
And that our hearts be filled with hope and that the His light shine through the dark.
Blessed new year to all!

DSCN2625
Originally uploaded by macing.

i had nothing to do, i was so bored,no one to drink with me and then i realized na di naman bawal uminom mag isa. i can't say i had fun (drinking alone ain't fun), but baileys and a lays chips as company eh pwede na kesa sa wala.

MY CHRISTMAS PRAYER

heard this song sa OPRAH and i super liked it.

I pray for peace
Blessings and honor
Heaven right earth's despair
This is my Christmas prayer

For those that grieve
God will bring comfort
Laughter will rapture there
This is my Christams prayer

See I pray that love will rule and reign
And I pray that time will rid the pain of this world
As we learn to trust and care
This is my Christmas prayer

I pray for you (Yes I know you do)
That your triupmh and conquer
Poses the strength you need to bare
This is my Christmas prayer

For those in need
There would be plenty
And each other's burdens share
Oh, this is my Christmas prayer

See I pray that love will rule and reign
And I pray that time will rid the pain of this world
As we learn to trust and care
This is my Christmas prayer, Oh

So let hope fill our hearts (Let's let hope fill our hearts)
Shine the light through the dark
All around the world
And everywhere
I will pray
This Christmas prayer

See I pray that love will rule and reign
And I pray that time will rid the pain of this world
As we learn to trust and care
This is my Christmas
This is my Christmas prayer

See I pray that love will rule and reign
And I pray that time will rid the pain of this world
As we learn to trust and care
This is my Christmas prayer
This is my Christmas prayer

this song was song by bebe winans and rob thomas. i do pray that love will rule and reign. but i think my personal Christmas prayer has come true na *wink*

i was bored, had nothing to do, just finished with lunch of porkchop and sinigang na bangus. i was at my mom's room, thinking if i was going to sleep, head to the parlor for a haircut or go to my room and finish the book i was reading. as i was changing channels, i chanced upon OPRAH.

i decided to watch and oprah was talking about how much she loved teachers and that her audience for that day was filled with teachers from all over. and then she announced that the episode for the day was a tribute to them for their hard work (how true!) and that the day's episode was special because it was "Oprah's Favorite Things" and then the crowd went WILD! wild as in cheering, crying, jumping, and hugging. pati nga ako na was cheering.

and then the gift giving started, merong burberry na jacket, flat screen na super slim 30 inches TV (this i want), a lipstick set, cardigan and drawstring pants, top of the line dryer and washer with a drying cabinet (super cool-sarap siguro mag laba pag ganito), bubble bath set, nice champagne glasses, a bag that was really cute, a 3 days 2 night stay at a resort and spa in arizona all for free plus they could bring a friend pa, but what i super want from what she gave away was the sony vios notebook and the $500 gift certificate from office max--ang daming pens and post it pads nun! aside from what i metnioned, alot of other things were given away.

i think the teachers super deserve it, and how i wish we had a show here that would give credit if not such gifts to our teachers. they do need recognition and they desreve it naman talaga. true what one of the teachers in the show said that teaching is not for the money, but for the love of the children.

Look At The Year That's About to Say Buh-Bye

1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
go to boracay! it was i guess the most memorable happy experience of the year

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
i don't think i made a list last year...

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
not anyone super close but a lot of friends gave birth this year--baby boom ata.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
tita tess

5. What countries did you visit?
didn't go out of the country--in my dreams lang.

6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
maturity...i am not getting any younger.

7. What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
12-08-04, this date will forever remain painful.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
none--i guess im not really an achiever.

9. What was your biggest failure?
alot! i guess not meeting other people's expectation of me, failing in relationships, and failing myself in a lot of things.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
injury--not physically though.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
puro bigay lang e...i really can't think of a good buy i bought this year.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
wow! i dunno...

13. Whose behaviour appalled you and made you depressed?
next question please....

14. Where did most of your money go?
cellphone bills, bills, nursing books and kung anu-anong anik!

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Boracay trip with family

16. What song will always remind you of 2004?
get here--reminds me of all the videoke sessions/drinking sessions i have had with bheng and how she would laugh at me because i would cry while singing ung mga songs kahit na wala naman meaning ang song na yun for me.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? sadder
ii. thinner or fatter? thinner i hope
iii. richer or poorer? richer--poorer na lang

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
appreciate what i had

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
whine...whine...and expect too much

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Christmas eve was spent with the tuano's (it is an annual thing) while christmas day was spent at home--sleep!sleep!sleep!

22. Did you fall in love in 2004?
i was in love even before 2004 and i still am, but....

23. How many one-night stands?
NONE!

24. What was your favourite TV program?
AR, Queer, Surviviors and yung iba pa na reality TV shows

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
as much as i don't want to hate anyone i guess i do--sometimes i think i hate myself too-bad me!

26. What was the best book you read?
This is my story

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
hmm....wala.

28. What did you want and get?
a digital camera

29. What did you want and not get?
peace of mind, love and happiness ( darn! this questions is making me cry!)

30. Favorite film of this year?
raising helen

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
i turned quarter of a century old and i had a get together of friends here at home

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
if i only had the chance to correct mistakes and be forgiven for things i have done in the past that i REALLY REGRET doing.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
jeans, plain shirt, skirts, nothing fancy for me

34. What kept you sane?
RH, videoke sessions, blogging, work, school, and GOD.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
none

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
elections

37. Who did you miss?
need i answer this question

38. Who was the best new person you met?
i met a lot of new friends this year pero walang BEST.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004.
you can't have everything...happiness is not easy to achieve...that i could never be in the present and in the past at the same time...not to expect for my efforts to be appreciated...a lot of learnings this year but i guess the most important learing for the year is that i have to trust God and hold on to his promise.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

They don’t know
That I come running home when I fall down
They don’t know
Who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
Cuz deep inside this armor
The warrior is a child

Unafraid because his armor is the best
But even soldiers need a quiet place to rest
People say that I’m amazing
I never face retreat
But they don’t see the enemies
That lay me at his feet

we have had a "Christmas tradition" and i have lost count on how many years we have been doing it, but this year we broke the tradition. My mom, ate, borgy and i with the amelia's angels were suppose to go here for rest and recreation but when i woke up this morning, my mom said she was tamad to drive and so we decided not to go anymore.

so, Christmas day for me was...sleep, sleep again, dinner at kaya and then sleep again. it was time to make up for all the puyat i have been doing. and right now i could still use a few more hours of sleep.

this years Christmas was different, i believe this is my saddest Christmas to date. i know i shouldn't be sad because Christmas is a time of Celebration but i guess as much as i try to divert my mind to "happy things" it didn't really last long and i was always going back to thinking "sad things". i guess i could never really deny the emptiness and confusion i am feeling right now.

but, life goes on. all the presents have been opened, all the kids are happy with the gifts they got, no more food in the table but alot of leftover food in the fridge and since life is a cycle Christmas na ulit in 364 days. till next Christmas...

amidst the hustle and bustle of the season, we may all be reminded of the true meaning of Christmas. MERRY CHRSITMAS!

gifts

gifts
Originally uploaded by macing.

pasko na nga!
now i have a lot of gifts to open on christmas...marami pa pala nag mamahal sa akin (drama!)
i always, always look forward to opening gifts on christmas day--parang bata talaga.
thanks sa mga gifts and sa mga magbibigay pa dyan, taos puso pa po akong tumatanggap! =)

d-i-y gifts for christmas
Originally uploaded by macing.

2 years ago it was hand gel...lat year was hand soap..this year a d-i-y gift for clients and friends.

my drivers license

my drivers license
Originally uploaded by macing.

my driver's license...after almost a year i finally took time to renew it. i know vow to be driving by next year. anyone willing to practice with me? =)

i went out last night with cousin sassy and bhengs friends...friends ko na din sila ngayon.

i have school today but party lang din naman yun.

i have a wedding to attend later in the afternoon.

im going to church tomorrow and do a little christmas shopping after (tutuban?!?!).

christmas party namin ni bheng on mon,a day before she goes home to NE (huhu!).

will meet agustine on tuesday.

will have to do last minute christmas shopping and prepare for ofc christmas party.

thursday will be branch christmas party.

i thank God because the coming days will be very busy! yahoo!

ps: happy ako kasi bheng gave me her hello kitty pink bag...cutie! will post a pic of the bag later.

The King is Dead....

the king of philippine movies died a few days ago. A lot has been said already but i do agree that he is an institution in the industry ( ang showbiz ko!). I don't watch his movies so that does not make me a fan and i didn't support him last elections but i would still like to go to Sto Domingo. ha! So PINOY!

Ang Pasko ay Sasapit....

A little over a week before christmas...im so looking forward to school break...i WANT to go to tutuban (anyone who wants to go with me?)...i received a few gifts already...i have yet to go Christmas shopping...i have gone to 2 Christmas parties...but i still don't feel CHRISTMASSY (may ganun ba na word?).

Cubao Adventure....

i went to cubao yesterday to refund tito moxy's air philippines plane ticket and i was so shocked kasi in fairness ang ganda na ng cubao. PWAMIS! PLUS--i was able to renew my driver's license sa farmers mall in less than an hour. I vow to be driving by next year!

Kester Christmas Party....

tonight was the first ever kester christmas party and kudos to the organizer's bec it was a nice party. it could have been better but for the limited time and resources, it was much more than what i expected. going to the party was all worth it. Pero wholesome the party...wala beer,hehehe! i will try to post pictures over the weekend. try lang because i could be so tamad.

Pwede ba mag Drama????

i was so touched with GMA 7's interview with the Grandson of FPJ. He said he advised FPJ during the campaign early this year not to make promises he will not fulfill. It is so true not only in campaigning but life in general. we sometimes tend to make promises or tell people things we don't really mean. i know, i too commit the same mistakes. tao lang naman. i know how betrayed or hurt a person could feel--it could hurt that it makes you mad. it hurts that sometimes you think that you would want to get back at that person. it hurts that you regret hearing those words. but i have recently realized that hurting is part of life and so is healing. It is not easy and walang easy way to do it. it is not something that you can learn everyday nor is there a step-by-step way of doing it. it is hard but you don't really have a choice. My healing has brought me closer to God. When i feel alone and lonely i just talk to Him and even if He is not beside me i feel His comfort. i thank Him because He is a BIG GOD. Big enough to carry me through...

yesterday was ibank center six christmas party at tivoli royale and it was FUN! it was nice to see friends from the other branches, and see them perform. too bad di kami nanalo sa Christmas presentation, but i guess what was important that the practices we had as a branch made us closer.

PAYANIG SA BANIG

with chicken bbque, sizzling pusit (kuno), hot and spicy nagaraya, orange oishi potato chips and of course the ultimate favorite RHB we watched the manny paquiao-3K bout on tv. ha! buti na lang wala ako pambili ng tickets kasi 4th round pa lang tapos na. galing ng pinoy..proud to be a FILIPINO!

i got this from mica and it is really beautiful...perfect for me and i guess for a lot of other people who have to close cycles and open a new one.
yes..to all my friends and relatives im closing a cycle. ending the tears and FINALLY moving on with my life. it would be difficult but i would not be answering any questions about this moving on or even with what has happened. i have a lot of other things to look forward to and like everybody else i do have a life.
my thank you to all those who have been with me through this tough times...my drinking buddies...my closing cycles doesn't mean no more drinking though. i could never payback but now i know who my true friends are.

Closing Cycles
by:Paolo Coelho
One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying
longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the
other stages we have to go through. Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending
chapters whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the
moments of life that have finished. Did you lose your job? Has a loving
relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents' house? Gone to live
abroad? Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden? You can spend a
long time wondering why this has happened. You can tell yourself you won't
take another step until you find out why certain things that were so
important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that.
But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your
parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister,
everyone will be finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on
with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill.None of us
can be in the present and the past at the same time, not even when we try to
understand the things that happen to us. What has passed will not return: we
cannot for ever be children,late adolescents, sons that feel guilt or rancor
towards our parents,lovers who day and night relive an affair with someone
who has gone away and has not the least intention of coming back. Things
pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away. That is why it
is so important (however painful it maybe!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give
lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at
home. Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible
world, of what is going on in our hearts and getting rid of certain memories
also means making some room for other memories to take their place. Let
things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them. Nobody plays this life
with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Do not expect
anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your
genius to be discovered, your love to be understood.Stop turning on your
emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one
that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning
you, nothing else. Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love
relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no
starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the ideal
moment. Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell
yourself that what has passed will never come back. Remember that there was
a time when you could live without that thing or that person nothing is
irreplaceable, a habit is not a need. This may sound so obvious, it may even
be difficult, but it is very important. Closing cycles. Not because of
pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your
life. Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust.
Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.

i have asked God for a sign...but He didn't just give me a sign, pati si God binatukan na ako. I thank Him because inspite of everything i have been doing He is my comforter and my strength. I thank God for friends who were willing to spend time with me...to help me through everything i am going through.

i have a long journey...a long battle to fight but with God as my armor how could i lose. i now pray for His will...for continued strength, for guidance, for more comfort and for understanding.

i want to blog but im so distracted with a lot of things. it has been a while since my last entry and a lot of things has happened already and i can't seem to remember anything. epekto ata ito ng RHB!
i miss mimi and sassa...i guess kung andito silang dalawa, na alog na ng husto ang utak ko sa kakabatok nila sa akin.
i know i have other things to worry about...like anatomy...that i haven't started my Christmas shopping yet...that i still have nothing to wear for the christmas party...that i don't know how to get a person's blood pressure and we have a return demonstration on saturday...the 50 items exam on saturday and knowing that i won't be able to study for that since we have a christmas party on friday...that the comming week will be uberly hectic...that i haven't wrapped the gifts for clients...that a week before christmas will be prelims...and finally the thing that bothers me the most and makes me sad the most is........
but like what one of my friends told me, i have to bring out the kid in me...masaya dapat ang Christmas. it is indeed a season of celebration.
i hate this roller coaster ride of my life...dapat na ata akong bumababa dito. someone please teach me how.